You kind of develop a routine at the gym. You walk in, head over to the cubbies behind the treadmills and the elliptical trainers. You find an empty cubby, pull your sweatshirt over your head and stuff it in. You pull your shirt down and look around to see if anybody checked out your belly. No? Looks like it's another no-cake weekend. Your wife will be sad; she's a fan of cake.
If it's cold outside (like it was today) then you slip your sweatpants down to your shoes and step out of them while you get your iPhone out of your bag and find a playlist. You're getting the most out of the Apple Music free trial, so it's a 90's Hard Rock workout today. You hope there's some Stone Temple Pilots on there. It was too bad about Scott Weiland.
That's about the time you look down and realize you forgot to put on shorts under your sweatpants like you meant to. So it's just you in your nylon boxer briefs with your sweatpants around your ankles. That's where that breeze came from.
Yeah, people are looking at you with your pants around your ankles.
You drop your phone and grab your sweatpants, pulling them up while you say, "Holy shit, I forgot my shorts!" You say it really loud so people will realize you forgot to put on your shorts, and know that it's not that you're just a flasher without the balls to actually flash anyone.
The girl in the lululemon doesn't buy it. She shakes her head and whispers something to the sweaty guy with the medicine ball. They snicker.
You pick up your phone, put your headphones in, and turn the music up. Man. You really hope there's some STP on this playlist.
And that is why you worked out in sweatpants today.